Space Rover, Episode III: Ananke Ascertainment, Audio Version - Outtakes Transcript Narrator: Spacer Rover: Episode Three - Highlights of Outtakes --- Hamish (darkly): Beginning atmosphere... --- Graham: I must remember not to make sound effects noises... --- Narrator/Malcolm: Space Rover: Episode Three - Ananke Assertment. Graham: Ascertainment. Malcolm: * laughs * First line. Damn. Narrator/Malcolm: Space Rover: Episode Three - Ananke Assertment. Gah! Graham: Blows the first line of the show like a bigot [Red Dwarf Smeg Ups]. Malcolm: Ascertainment. Okay. --- Narrator/Malcolm: It has not been considered of particular interest. * thump thump thump * Malcolm: Thud, thud thud? Graham: I think that was a dog. Hamish: Thank you Bruno [the BFD - Big 'Effin Dog]. --- Narrator/Malcolm: Then again, that may also be because * whump * * laughing * Malcolm: Oh dear... sorry puppy. --- Captain/Hamish: Come, prepared. Malcolm: Duh duh dum! --- Captain/Hamish: Alright... sorry. I will just redo that then. Graham: Let's get going. Hamish: Alright. Malcolm: Let's kick some ass! Hamish: Let's kill something! YEEEEEEEAAAAHHH! [from Red Dwarf VIII, "Cassandra"] --- Hologram/Graham: Sure, but everything here is so dead and quiet. Peter/Malcolm: Hologram, mind that tree. Graham mimes a whomp sound. Hamish: Don't make sound effects sounds! [from Men in Black II outtakes] --- Hamish (silly): After an all night effort by police and local volunteers, Little Timmy was successfully... diverted... recovered, reinstated, interned... Graham: Reincarnated. --- Captain/Hamish: How would that generate a hol... * clears throat * That's a hard one to say. How would that generate... That was my normal voice. (feigned silly voice) This is me using my normal voice. [From The Vicar of Dibley, Season Two, "Dibley Live"] --- Captain/Hamish: After all, I do not want him shortening out after walking into any more trees... That emitter might be worth a few terras on re-sale you know. Malcolm: Is that... is that supposed to be shortening? Graham: No, it is supposed to be shorting. Malcolm: Yeah! * laughing * Hamish: I read it as shortening! Graham: Bakery! --- Captain/Hamish: You forget, I was raised with my various sensory organs taped... Graham: Tapped. Captain/Hamish: You forget, I was raised with my various sensory organs taped... Malcolm: Tapped. Graham: Tapped. Malcolm: Tippy tap toe. --- Peter/Malcolm: Well, I was going to go... damn. Graham: Mr. Guitar... Hamish: you're a sad old... [again, Red Dwarf VI Smeg Ups] --- Peter/Malcolm: Apart from those absurdly painful disclaimers. Graham: Plentiful. Malcolm: Ah * chuckles * --- Hologram/Graham: Probably a winding tale of trademark shuffling to avoid... invade... --- Peter/Malcolm: On the planets and satellites to reproduce... Graham: Recuperate. Malcolm (laughing): Reproduce expenses?! --- Hologram/Graham: Yeah, 'cause I was kind of interested in that... yeah... yeah! Hamish: Yeah. Malcolm: Yeah. Hamish: Yeah! Graham: Oh yeah!!!! Malcolm: Maaagghh! Hamish: Maaaghhh! Graham: No, it is ughgughmaaggahah. [From Red Dwarf XI, "Krysis"] --- Peter/Malcolm: Each success-ing... Graham: Succeeding. --- Captain/Hamish: Perhaps we were wrong about them being a large population, and what we have actually discovered is an above average rate of infant and child mortality. God, aren't I a professor, whooo! * chuckles * Hamish: Yes, you cut that last bit. --- Captain/Hamish: Alright, point withdrawn. Malcolm: We have lasers. [From the opening of Robot Chicken: Star Wars III] --- Peter/Malcolm: But I could pirate the needed firmware, or else pay the 9000... 9000? All: It's over 9000! [Dragon Ball Z meme] --- Peter/Malcolm: And so the signal is fairly... the signal to the Roy... blub bluh bluh blub * smacks limbs * Graham: Bit of robo-phlegm ladies and gentlemen. [This again...] --- Captain/Hamish: Well as long as it is done before the dawn of 2140. Malcolm: It was the dawn of... Graham: The third age... Together: Of mankind. Malcolm: Before the great war consumed us all. [Mash up of various Babylon 5 opening narrations.] Hamish: Thank you. --- Hologram/Graham: Yeah, that can only mean you're either suggesting we somehow recreate conditions for backwards time travel... not like we are going to be doing that in an episode [see "Rewinding the Watch"]. --- Peter/Malcolm: Or warp ourselves around an object... Hamish & Graham: Wrap! Malcolm: Son of a... --- Malcolm: That our chronology is either cylindrical... Hamish & Graham: Cyclical. Malcolm: Damn it! Hamish: Cylindrical. * chuckles * --- Malcolm: Or the less likely chance that there will be a big crrrunch. ...I shouldn't... twill... till, uh, trill that. Graham: Captain Crunch! [Do I really need to spell this out for you?] Hamish (robotic): I am emoting! I am emoting now! --- Captain/Hamish: Slip a certain digit... slip into something more comfortable. Malcolm: ...and you leap all over me?! * chuckles * * laughter * Graham: Ewww! Malcolm: Oh dear... --- Peter/Malcolm: Perhaps we should go out and look for more samples. Hamish: Let's all go the... All Together: Lobby! Let's all go the lobby, let's all go the lobby, and get ourselves a treat! [Let's All Go to the Lobby snipe] Graham (contrarily): Drink! --- Malcolm (announcer style): Meanwhile! Hamish: Meanwhile! Back on Planet Sanity! --- Captain/Hamish: Erosion from successive cadets must have worn down that hill into a deep pit by now. Malcolm: Or chasm. Graham: Orgasm? Uuuuhhhh? [Dilbert, Season One, "Y2K"] --- Peter/Malcolm: Ah, a good old fashioned GPS position beacon. Hamish: Almost had a bit of Bela Lugosi there. [See Universal Studios' Dracula] Graham: Ahhhhha! Hamish (Transylvanian): Ah good old * unclear * --- Hologram/Graham: Which way do we go then? Malcolm (as Elvis Presley): That way! [see Red Dwarf IV, "Meltdown"] All: Thata way! Uh huh huh huh! * chuckles * Hamish: Thata way! Uh huh huh huh! --- Peter/Malcolm: That way. Hamish: I think Elvis is better. * snickers * --- Peter/Malcolm: A bovine cranium. (darkly) A bovine cranium! Graham shudders wickedly. Malcolm chuckles. --- Peter/Malcolm: Please print computer. Graham harshly mimics an old line printer. Hamish: No, actually seriously go for that. That might be the sound effect. --- Peter/Malcolm: Duh duh duh. Alleles. Double helix. Reclusive whatsiwhosits. Hamish & Graham: Recursive. Malcolm: Reclusive. * laughs * Graham: I might have meant recessive anyway, though. Malcolm: Oh dear. --- Hamish: I am no geneticist. I just mostly hurt people. [From Alien Resurrection by way of Blood II: The Chosen] --- Peter/Malcolm: A psychological... Graham: Physiological. Malcolm: Damn it. Graham: I knew you were going to fail that line. Malcolm: You just knew it! Hamish: Then why did you write it? --- Captain/Hamish: Have you ever seen the people on Pluto? They barely have more than twelve genes between them. Graham: Yes, they have a shortage of pants. --- Peter/Malcolm: There is one possibility, but it is fairly (exaggerated) ghastly! Hamish: Should we actually record that pant line? Malcolm: What? Hamish: Well, it has been awhile since we had a joke. Graham: Okay. Malcolm: Alright. --- Hologram/Graham: Yes, they do seem to have a rather short supply of blue jeans, at least ones that actually cover what they're supposed to cover. Malcolm: Coveralls don't quite cover all! [The Simpsons, Season 8, "Brother from Another Series"] Graham: I can plagiarize if I want too! Hamish: It's my script and I'll plagiarize if I want too! And this doesn't flow... ["It's My Party" by Leslie Gore] --- Hologram/Graham: Does he ever turn that voice off? Terry/Hamish: No, I do not! --- Captain/Hamish: Well, it all started around thirty years ago... Malcolm mimes silly flashback transition tune. --- Captain/Hamish: Quite funny how they do not mention that when tendering those new real estate and development contracts with the Space Commonwealth government, don't ya find? Don't ya find? Don't ya find? Malcolm (laughing): Don't ya find? Graham: Don't ya find? --- Terry/Hamish: Human interest (darkly) deadly diseases (normal) and an untimely apocalypse! Malcolm chuckles. Hamish: And an untime... Graham: Don't laugh at the jokes. Malcolm: Sorry... --- Terry/Hamish: I think they are all just (exaggerated) PERVERTS! All laugh. Malcolm: Yeah. --- Captain/Hamish: Hologram, if you will do the honours... Hologram/Graham: Play stock recording! --- Malcolm coughs. Graham: Bit of robo-phlegm ladies and gentlemen! Hamish: You've used that line how many times... [I know...] --- Peter/Malcolm: But under the name of of the Byzantine... damn it! * laughing * Malcolm: Okay... --- Hologram/Graham: And a big ass cannon. Seriously, look it up. Not like I really care or anything... Captain/Hamish: Eh, let him rant... Malcolm: And a big ass cannon! Together: Why do I have a big ass cannon?! ["Why do I have a t-shirt cannon?" - Bobba Fett, Robot Chicken: Star Wars III] Graham: Polish wood-smiths, apparently. [This is actually true. The Ottoman Turks got Polish wood workers to build the cannon] --- Hologram/Graham: Spread your genes... AGAIN WITH THE TROUSERS! --- Hamish: How do you wink in a radio play? Graham: WINK! --- Captain/Hamish: Full steam ahead Mr. Gans Lee! Peter/Malcolm (exaggeratedly): Aye aye sir! --- Peter/Malcolm: Rather... hmm. Hamish (silly): Rather... Peter/Malcolm: Rather...mm. Graham: Bravo. --- Peter/Malcolm: You would think... Graham: You would. Hamish: You would. --- Graham: Just sigh... Captain/Hamish: * small sigh * Graham: Louder than that. Hamish yells it out. Graham: Maaaagggghhh! Hamish: Okay... --- Graham: Doesn't even make any sense.... --- Copyright 2013-2018 Malcolm Wilson Multimedia. 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